It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged:

 

That a single post of RAWR and kickass
will, inevitably, cause the Universe to kick you in the face.

Seriously, ‘Verse.
You must have a tiny penis for all of this overcompensating.

Today I:

 

Feel completely and totally behind the ball.

Knowing that I’m not
(we have our site, our photographer, our rentals, our officiants, and I’m starting to work on my dress with the Amazing Amanda)
doesn’t really help,
because I feel like I should have EVERYTHING DONE.

I kinda figured this might be my particular problem.

*le sigh*

Back to it, mates!

Fashion’s Night Out:

 

Old Roommate Tamara and I are heading to Fashion’s Night Out in Los Angeles,
where we will drink champagne out of Louboutins,
exchange fashion tips with Anna Wintour,
and by discovered by Leibovitz, Richardson, and Meisel.

 

Like ya do.

But only if my dilemma can be solved,
which, naturally, is:

 

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WEAR?!?

 

All suggestions will be considered.

The management thanks you.

 

(what I wish was in my closet? see below.)

 

If ever there was a place you could get away with wearing these...

 

See, this is how my shorts are *supposed* to fit me. Alas.

 

Have I mentioned my undying love for open backed dresses?

Don’t Cook the Pinterest Yet!!!

 

I forgot two VERY SPECIAL SNOWFLAKES in the ingredient list:

1 3/4 cup of Christian-ese
2 Keep Calm and Carry On posters,
neatly shredded into unpalatable irony
and/or trite sayings.

Do not neglect the addition of these two ingredients,
or NO ONE WILL EVER REPIN YOU EVER AGAIN
IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.

 

A perfect Venn Diagram illustration, right here, folks.