A rant, if you will.
I love dresses.
I love shopping for them,
trying on pretty colors,
lovely fabrics,
experimenting with shapes and styles.
What I don’t love,
however,
is the continual, constant, rage-inducing CAP SLEEVE.
First,
what’s the point?
The cap sleeve generally covers about .00001% of your entire arm,
so if modesty is your concern,
surely elbow sleeves are less risky.
Second,
cap sleeves look good on .00001% of the female population.
Because?
That stupid piece of fabric emphasizes the biggest part of one’s arms.
It’s like trying to camouflage an elephant behind a blade of grass.
FAIL.
I know there are women out there
whose arms are largest at the elbow.
I don’t understand where they come from,
or how they rolled the genetic dice for such–
but I am not among them.
I have BIG ARMS.
I have “my ancestors were farmers” arms.
They are strong,
but in spite of everything,
show no muscular definition.
Which is rad.
And it means that sleeves on dresses like this?
so cute! so IMPOSSIBLE.
And this?
WANT. CAN'T.
And this?
CAN’T.
WEAR.
Can’t even get ‘em past my (hulking) forearms,
most of the time.
And even if I can,
that stupid little slice of material smooshes my upper arms
into amazingly grotesque shapes.
EW.
Designers!!!!
Few women have eensy weensy toothpickering arms!
My shoulders do not need their own minuscule awnings,
and I’m tired of having to remove these insulting little buggers,
or having to put a cute dress back on the rack because of a 2″ piece of fabric.
Please to kill the cap sleeve.
It wearies me.
