I forget that paintings rarely turn out cool the first go-round.
I’m going to scrap what I have and start over.
I don’t WANNA.
Because when I poke about for inspiration,
and see works like those of the inimitable Audrey Kawaski,
I kinda die inside:
Makes me kinda feel like I’m in kindergarten again,
with the cheapo box of eight crayons,
trying to pretend like I have 36 instead:
The Boyo and I were talking about the fact that neither of us are
“traditional” artists, per se–
we didn’t major in art,
we don’t sketch constantly or perpetually,
and that last bit is one of the chief things holding us back from being really good.
I don’t like doing things every day if it’s hard,
if it’s a discipline.
(Hi, my name is Becca, and I’m LAZY.)
But that needs to change.
I’ll never get better at painting,
or anything, really,
unless I work at it.
So after I go to a party tonight,
I’m going to work again.
And if I still don’t like it?
I’ll do it again.