Bah.

Sometimes,
I forget that paintings rarely turn out cool the first go-round.

I’m going to scrap what I have and start over.

BOO.

I don’t WANNA.

Because when I poke about for inspiration,
and see works like those of the inimitable Audrey Kawaski,
I kinda die inside:

audrey kawasaki, all rights reserved

...where i want to be...

Makes me kinda feel like I’m in kindergarten again,
with the cheapo box of eight crayons,
trying to pretend like I have 36 instead:

...where i am...

However!

The Boyo and I were talking about the fact that neither of us are
“traditional” artists, per se–
we didn’t major in art,
we don’t sketch constantly or perpetually,
and that last bit is one of the chief things holding us back from being really good.

I don’t like doing things every day if it’s hard,
if it’s a discipline.

(Hi, my name is Becca, and I’m LAZY.)

But that needs to change.

I’ll never get better at painting,
or anything, really,
unless I work at it.

So after I go to a party tonight,
I’m going to work again.

And if I still don’t like it?

I’ll do it again.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Brenda
    Jun 21, 2010 @ 23:46:40

    YES! I have a friend who wrote a lot and had gotten a few random things published in sci-fi short story magazines that were read by just about as many people as you would expect to have subscriptions to sci-fi short story magazines. A few years back he decided to MAKE himself write once a day for a designated period of time, whether or not he had anything to write about. That time kept growing, and he went to writing workshops and all of that, and I bought his first novel a few weeks ago. The second one is in the publication process and he is starting his third.

    He still maintains that the biggest factor of his success was making himself write daily, regardless of how inspired he felt. I know piano practice works that way, and I imagine art would too. YOU CAN DO IT!

    Reply

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