On Managing:

 

Hello.

It’s been a while.
Sorry about that.

I’m currently developing opinions about managerial styles.
Because I seem to be collecting a basket full of basketcases.

Are you a manager?

Lean on in.

 

1. Do not belittle, demean, or otherwise abuse your staff. If the language you are using is not what *you* would want to hear addressed to *you* from your superior, do not use it with your staff.

2. Mind your tone. Many, many managers use accusative language instead of inquisitive. If you don’t like the way a staff member has done something, that’s fine–but just say it, don’t ask “why”, or “what were you thinking”–this type of language just frustrates your staff. “Why”? Because he or she was trying to get the project done, dammit.

3. Back. Off. Seriously, just back off. Lurking behind an employee’s chair is rude and unhelpful.

4. If you are a micromanager, own up to it. Expressing that something is your preference as opposed to it being the “best” or “right” drops everyone’s defenses, and you will be prone to far fewer eyerolls in the staff lounge (yes, we talk about you. yes, everyone knows when you lose your shit. if you think people don’t respect you, you are probably correct). Additionally, take the time to show your staff how you want a project done if you absolutely need to do so. It would be better for everyone concerned if you just let go of things a little, but if that’s asking too much, at least have the sense to train and explain.

5. Allow grace. Everyone has bad days. If you take the time to notice what’s going on in the lives of your staff, and to be kind to them, chances are you will be rewarded with employees who are willing to work harder for you.

6. It’s okay if you don’t understand tech. Acknowledge this, and trust your staff members who do.

7. Learn to listen. Interrupting is unfathomably rude, and muddles what people are trying to tell you.

8. Do you have employee evaluations? Great. Now get evaluations for managers as well–have your employees set *you* goals and see if you can meet them in a year. This should help remind you of how difficult it is to deal with constant criticism and little praise.

9. Tell staff members when they have done a job well. Even if it’s just a nicely composed email, or if they organized a cabinet–whatever they have done that is excellent, encourage it directly, with specific praise.

10. Answer questions. Telling employees to “look it up” is often singularly useless, particularly if your database of information is enormous.

11. Do not make your employees afraid to call other departments for help when they need to. That does not create a work environment of trust and mutual assistance.

12. Allow your staff to decorate their desks–it doesn’t actually matter if you don’t like their taste in Star Trek posters. Chances are they think your tacky “inspirational quotes” posters are awful. Be cool with the mutual awfulness (unless porn is involved. then definitely don’t allow that noise).

13. You are more high-strung than you think. You are not the clear communicator you believe you are. Your employees know when you are in a bad mood. We pay attention to *you* because you cut our paychecks. Please pay attention to *us* because we are working FOR you.

(You make us want to do this sometimes)
fishslap

 

14. Some employees are dicks. Sorry about that.
But? You have the ability to fire them. Some managers are dicks. Employees can’t fire them in return. Please keep this in mind when you’re feeling ragey.

15. Above all else? Be kind. Build loyalty in your staff with behavior that is rational and polite. If you are thoughtful, sincere, and kind, your employees will generally respond in the same way. Productivity generally goes up when people feel cared for.

 

Honestly,
I don’t know why any of these points need to be made.
Treat people the way you would want to be treated.

 

I’m pretty sure Christ said that.

And He’s had billions of people follow and obey Him for a couple of thousand years.

Pretty good management, oui?

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Yesternight’s Workout:

 

Oof.

It’s been a while.

We’ve been kinda sporadically doing Crossfit,
what with crazy 12-hour workdays and all.
I’ve been doing my own workouts every day at the office–
tricep dips, knee balances on the yoga ball,
pushups and situps and handstands when no one’s looking…
But I really miss doing Crossfit regularly.

 

x4

(Rotating stations for first three exercises)
5 pistols (each leg)
10 20# KB Swings
45 Single-Unders (for the life of me, I can’t get the rope to go fast enough for a double-under)
10 toes-to-bar
20# KB 100m Relay (FUN! And soooo tiring!)
5 Single leg balance extensions (each leg)

 

That last one is *awesome* because it challenges
your balance, coordination, and it strengthens your back muscles,
which we all need.

 

I had a breakthrough in handbalancing on Monday night,
which was good, since the rest of class was PAIN and JOINTS and PAIN:

I finally got a solid one minute belly-to-wall handstand,
AND I was able to kick up into a handstand and forward roll out of it,
on my own!

*phew*

Thought I’d never get through the mental block I was having for that latter bit–
I’m always afraid that I’ll fall on my face,
break all my teeth,
and end up dead and homeless.

(All disasters end this way for me: Bounced a check? Dead and homeless.
Didn’t get a lunch order right? Dead and homeless.
Forgot to feed the dog? Yup. Death and also homelessness.)

 

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, lately.
The new job, which I am grateful to have, mind you,
is eating me alive.

Usually,
by the time I come home,
I just head straight to bed.

I’ve been forcing myself to work on wedding stuff when I get home,
which means I haven’t been enjoying it very much–
instead of being a welcome, creative escape,
it’s become just another thing that I have to do,
just another task that is keeping me from collapsing into bed.

I miss my friends.
I miss my fiancé.

We cram everything into the weekends now,
which also diminishes how enjoyable those are.

I’m not going to lie–it sucks.

However,
our friends have been amazing with the wedding stuffs–
coming over on a Saturday last month to help cut out dozens of felted leaves,
helping me think through logistics and delegation,
flying to LA before the wedding to help with anything that needs helping,
taking over tasks–we are surrounded by truly incredible friends.

I just wish I had a little more time to be with them.

 

This gig ends in May.
I think some serious changes will be afoot for me after that.

And that’s a good thing.

It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged:

 

That a single post of RAWR and kickass
will, inevitably, cause the Universe to kick you in the face.

Seriously, ‘Verse.
You must have a tiny penis for all of this overcompensating.

Poor Wee Mousie:

 

Maybe yesterday was a premonition.

I was laid off from my job this morning.

It was (as these things usually are) very sudden–
and in small graces,
my manager and the head of my office had nothing to do with the decision–
it was kind of a fell swoop coming down from the board of the company,
and they axed 19 other people along with me.

 

I am…everything everyone feels in this situation.

Angry, hurt, upset, depressed, worried, terrified.

Ben’s been amazing, of course.
I don’t know if we’ll have to put off the wedding.
We’re hoping we don’t.

I just can’t believe that I’m having to do this again,
barely a year later.
This is so, so fucking shitty.

VALIDATED:

 

Held Hostage

I fucking hate gynecological exams.

This new research makes me feel like I can actually argue against having to go through them as regularly as they are “recommended” (ie: foisted upon me).

I made an appointment a couple of months ago
to get suspicious lumps in my breasts examined.
The doctor I saw would not examine my breasts
without subjecting me to a pelvic exam.
I was furious, upset, and completely traumatized by that exam,
and it was utterly, entirely pointless for my health.

It’s less about access to birth control for me
and more about not being guilted, forced, or compelled
to let a complete stranger both see me naked and poke around at my cervix.

As the writer says:

“…in a year, I might go back for a checkup with a doctor. But if I do, it will be because I think it’s the right thing to do, not because I don’t have a choice.”

Sh*t My Co-Worker Says:

 

“You know, if I was ever going to, like, try it,
I would take 1980s horse steroids and just ride, man.
You’d get so many chicks that way.”

 

“It’s like the beginning of an episode of ‘Duck Tales’ in here.”

 

(anyresemblancetoanyonelivingordeadiscoincidentalandtotallynotintentionalblahblah)

New Feature:

 

Sh*t My Co-Worker Says

 

“Yeah. They like outdated stuff because they’re, like, religious.
Religious [sic] is outdated.”

“Ya know, I’m just not the kind of person who needs New Year’s Resolutions.
I sit on the couch every night and go, like, think about my goals.”

“Ya wanna know about sodas, I like, drink ’em all.
I can tell you all about, like, the difference between Coke and Pepsi.”

 

*allcharactersappearinginthisworkarefictitiousblahblahblahaccidentalblahblah*

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