Irrational Hates:

 

Fruit on the bottom yogurt.

 

Seriously.
Seriously?
I always manage to slop half the container on my pants
in a futile attempt to blend my yogurt effectively.
Mix that shit, Chobani.
I know you have it in you.

Long, Long, Long Island:

I may or may not have had a Long Island Iced Tea
with Elderflower Liquere…Liquor?…Lickker?

in it.

It was really good.
 
 

…I can’t feel my knees.

 

Wordpress suggests "The Mona Lisa" as the text for this image. I'll go with that.

 
 
Also, corgi:

 

Good girl, distract everyone from Mommy's Tikki Bar hair.

Bright Moments with Becca:

 

“Hey, Self.”
 
“Hey, Self. Whatup?”

“Nice shoes.”
 
 

Why, yes, I probably *am* flashing the boulevard.


 
 
“Thanks.”

“But is wearing 5-inch stiletto heel Vince Camutos such a grand idea after you and Roommate got all down with the leg-pressing at the gym last night? I mean, that staircase at work is kinda steep.”

“Shut up.”
 
 

Thinking:

I need to paint.

 

 

(and I hatehatehate applying to jobs.)

 

 

(haaaaaaate)

 

My Day So Far:

It is 11:30 in the morning.

Becca has not gone to sleep yet,
on account of the fact that she,
once again,
had an AWESOMERAD idea for Halloween decor
that HAD to be executed in neverasmuchtimeassheneeds.

Additionally,
I have cleaned up two passive-agressive shits from DammitDog,
one “I didn’t want to poop outside, so I’magonna poop in the corner instead” from The Corgi,
one disgusting ALBINOSPIDERFUUUUCKWHYDOYOUEXIST,
fifty gazillion seeds from maple pods in my hair, down my bra, in my shorts,
two hot glue burns (tho’ not even close to the Emissary of Satan Burn),
tuned out the rantings of one creepy neighbor,
and have watched two movies.

I have not started on my costume yet,
and my party is tonight.

Next year?

I start working on Halloween decor in AUGUST.

And bright ideas that come around in the beginning of October?

I’ll write you down and tuck you away for NEXT YEAR.

ps (yes, pictures are forthcoming of the Project that Would Not Sleep)

Is That a Complete Sentence?

I’m sitting in BeanTown,
since I desperately needed to get out of the house today,
and I have a lovely trio ensconsced behind me:

Worried, tech-inept Mother.

Cadaverously boring, condescending Educator.

Annoyed, bored, cannot-believe-the-level-of-the-shit-she-does-not-give Teen.

Mom and EDUCATOR are making Charlie Brown noises
about tests and grades and why Teen should care about grades and tests.

Annoyed Teen is annoyed.

Because really?

Learning is interesting.
Learning is wild and crazy and adventurous.

And these two are making it all about percentiles.

UGH.

For heaven’s sake,
get your kid outside,
and let her roam around.

Encourage her to write about beautiful things.
Read her poetry.
Let her loose in the library to explore books.
Math? Connect it with wonder–the golden ratio,
how it’s found in art throughout the centuries.
Get her in museums.
Connect chemistry to baking, perhaps.
Let her make a mess in order to learn; work with her hands.
Learn with your kid, Worried Mom.
Explore the world with her.

She won’t give a shit unless *you* do.

And I don’t blame her,
especially when you say things like,
“Well, the next time you see ________, she’ll be smarter.”

Um.

Yeah.

You just told your daughter that she’s stupid.
In public.
Do you realize that she might not ever get over that?

*headdesk*

Poor kid.

Poor Worried Mom.

I hope wonder finds you,
in spite of today.

Seriously.

Things I’ve Learned:

1) The puppy will not go in her kennel willingly.
She will think leaping out of the zippered flap is a game.
This ceases to be funny after the 15th time.

2) If puppy goes out at 1am to pee, she will sleep until 6am.
Woe to you, unbeliever, if you fail to get her out at that hour!

3) Puppy sleeps in corners. This morning, it was the corner under my nightstand.
Good thing, too–her fluffy little body doubles as a duster.

4) The threat of fleas will make your scalp and skin itchitchitch,
even though the fleas are but a figment of your imagination,
thank you, Nuclear-Winter-for-Fleas-Spray.

5) The Boyo–who has had Dogs, but never his very own Puppy–
will be as nervous as a new Dad about whether or not Puppy loves him.
It’s adorable.

6) There are few things in the world cuter than this critter when she’s sleeping:

*snorgle*

Finally!

I finished restoring a dresser last Thursday.

Because,
well,
I’m 29, y’all.

That’s way too old to still be storing my clothes
in a three-drawer crappy plastic bin from Wal-Mart.

I was taking Le Pooch for a walk,
and sauntered past a dresser ditched by the side of the road.
I come from a loooong line of dumpster diving trash pickers,
so naturally,
I stopped to take a look at it.

It’s maple,
probably from the early 70s,
and still in (fairly) decent condition.

There was no way I could drag it home by myself,
though I did allow momentary visions of hooking The Damn Dog up to a sleigh
and hollering “MUSH!” over her head.

Now,
the last furniture liberation project I had was back at my old Inglehood place–
On a dark and stormy night,
I convinced The Boyo to help me get an enormous dresser
(I had to ditch the drawers, since they were so beat up)
made of particle board, weighing in at about 200 pounds,
covered in rain and mud,
into the back of his Kia,
with me perched on it, since the rear door wouldn’t shut,
up the very steep hill and two flights of stairs to my apartment.

He’s a trooper.

And,
consequently,
when I dropped a hint that there *might* be another dresser down the street
that *could* use a little love…
he was…um…reluctant.

(gosh, and it wasn’t even raining!)

Not to mention the fact that most of his belongings
are in the back of our old friend The Kia,
since he’s in the middle of a move,
so if liberating was to occur,
it would have to be with our four arms and legs.

I asked him to just come look at it with me;
and somehow,
we ended up carrying it home two blocks.

At night.

In a city that doesn’t really believe in street lights.

There may have been a couple of smashed fingers along the way,
but all in the name of home improvement, my friends!

(oh hai, Boyo! I love you!)

That last project,
fondly called “The Behemoth”,
took me nearly three months start to finish–
it was the first piece of furniture I’d ever mucked with,
and there were a few…miscommunications…regarding paint and polyurethane and primer and…
yeah.

I ended up finishing the whole thing incorrectly,
and had to sand it ALL back down and start over again.

It took forever.
And there may have been tears.

But it turned out bea-yew-ti-fully!

Picture this without all the accoutrements--pretty, oui?

So when I picked this dresser up,
I knew that I didn’t want to be quite as anal about it,
especially after the look of consternation Roommate Jessie gave me
when I gave her an estimate of three weeks to get it done.

Rather beat up...and 70s...but look at that maple!

Oh, the poor thing!

(I had to create a workspace on the back patio with a tarp,
a couple of bungee cords and a handy patio umbrella.)

I love me some big-ass tarp, y'all.

I started poking around for ideas,
and came across Centsational Girl,
who made this lovely piece of magic:

Patina Dresser

*gasp!*

Seriously?

You can water down paint without it,
I dunno,
mangling or otherwise causing your furniture to implode?

SWEET.

I ran down to Home Depot and picked up two sample paints by Behr,
one in Pool Table Green,
and the other in Realm,
watered them down just enough to make the paint thinner,
and mixed them together to get a true peacock blue.

They are flat finish,
which weirded me out at first,
but ended up looking lovely under a satin finish poly.

The great (AWESOME) thing about using watered down paint
is that your brushstrokes don’t matter as much.
When I painted The Behemoth,
I agonized over making the top absolutely perfect,
which is difficult using an eggshell finish latext paint.

This time?

I just slapped the stuff on there–
and it was actually fun!

I wanted this piece to be a bit imperfect,
a bit rough,
and I really wanted the warm maple tones to show through.

(I had a bit more repair work to do than I thought initially,
which involved judicious amounts of Elmer’s Wood Glue,
and since I am clampless,
strapping tape–and it worked okay, but clamps are on my “I should have these around because they’re kinda handy, yo” list.)

The other great thing about using watered down paint
is that it dries faster,
which meant that I was able to paint all nine of the drawers
AND poly them in the same day.

DUDE!

Apologies for the fuzziness...as is my wont, I often worked on this after dark...

It took me five days to finish this sucker–
including the Cephalopod detail on the side and drawers.

Oh, and here's our dresser presenter of fluffiness, NAMI!

Isn't he cute?

So preeeeetty!!!

Five.

Days.

Now,
my back isn’t happy with the speed in which I knocked this out,
but it does mean that I won’t have a messy project going now that
Her Fluffiness the Corgi is living here.

Instead,
I’ll have a cute dresser to pose her next to.

‘Coz,
really,
that’s what matters.

(Dear CentsationalGirl: Thank you. Seriously–you are magic.)

Supplies Used:

I used a Purdy paintbrush for Latex paints for this project. Purdy’s are expensive as heck, but totally worth the spectacular results.

I used this pearlescent paint from Modern Masters for the Cephalopod detail,
and painted it on with my water color brushes.
It is a bit…truculent to work with, but turns out pretty.

The polyurethane I used was Miniwax’s Satin Finish.
I may hate poly with the fires of hell,
but it makes for less-easily-destroyed furniture.

I wasn’t able to finish The Behemoth with a coat of poly
(shiny finish black furniture = Chinese lacquer = SHUDDER),
and it’s constantly in danger of getting scratched.
That won’t be a problem with this dresser.

And because I believe in torturing you with THE CUTE:

Aw, precious love!

Today I:

Almost swallowed a cockroach in my breakfast cereal.

There may have been induced vomiting.

Which is not really the most pleasant way to greet the morning,
ya know?

In light of this,
and in an attempt to forget the sensation of phalanged crunchery,
I present you with pretties taken on a walk down the Pasadena Arroyo:

All Artwork Copyright of Rebecca S. Rea, 2010
All Rights Reserved

Also?

It’s 6am,
and I haven’t gone to bed yet.

Ummm…

Time for an early morning run?

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