Flower Speak:

 

So you’re dating.
Or married.
Or generally edging around the notion of making another person feel
special and tingly.

Maybe.

Here is my comprehensive and exhaustively researched guide to
What Your Flowers are Hollering about You, Your Character,
and Sometimes Your Car:
 

Standard Red Roses:

“I have no imagination whatsoever.”

 

Standard Red Roses with Baby’s Breath:

“Not only do I not have any imagination,
but I’m also into infantilization.”

 

Daisies:

“LET’S WANDER IN FIELDS WITH UNWASHED HAIR AND SCRUB EACH OTHER WITH EARTH FRIENDLY PATCHOULI.
WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING???”

 

Gebera Daisies:

“I know enough to not give you boring daisies, but not enough to give you a flower that will last longer than two hours before drooping.
…There is a probably a double meaning in that.”

 

Carnations:

“McDonald’s is a good date. So is Taco Bell. I watch Carl’s Jr. commercials and wear Axe Body Spray.”

 

Calla Lilies:


“My car has a leather interior. Also, we will go to restaurants with price fixé menus. You lucky thing, you.”

 

Alstroemeria:

“I am a mildly interesting person with a habit of listening to talk radio.
…And these were on sale at Trader Joe’s.”

 

Potted Cactus/Succulent:

“You can’t keep anything alive.”

 

Sunflowers:

“I am so full of sunshine and good cheer, I will probably give you skin cancer.”

 

Peonies:

“Erudite, well-read, thoughtful. Methinks we’ll be having The Sex now.”

 

 

(Seriously. No carnations. Ever. They look like shite in bouquets.)

 
Totally gakked from: http://thehairpin.com/2011/07/the-modern-meanings-of-flowers

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