Au Revoir, Faire:


one of the best years I’ve ever had.
I found new friends,
wore a ridiculous costume,
and made people laugh.


Alexis, Morgan, Rick, Jane, Brian:

Thank you.

You are my most favorite Frenchies.

Kev and MoMo–thank you for inspiring me to be better at acro.
Loved watching the two of you perform.


Jane, called Grenadine.


Morgan, also called MiMi–because it is all about Mimi, you know?


Zee Kevin.


Zee Astronomer.


Photo courtesy of Ben Ross

Je t’aime.


Vee are not MIMES! OH MON DIEU.


Merci, mes amies. Merci.

Zee Frenchies!


‘ere ve come,
valking down zee street,
getting zee jealous looks from
everyone vee meet.

Oui, oui!

Ve’re zee Frenchies!




I will try to get a few more pictures when The Boyo
comes to visit in a couple of weeks.

Isn’t my hair RIDICULOUS????

Faire Starts Tomorrow!


That is all.



with this bit, at least.


I have it on its hoop here--Friend Amanda will add grommets to the waistband for me, since she has the equipment to do so.


Pretty button! This serves to hold the skirts to the panel.


I don't have a dress form, so I use volunteers. Love you, Boyo!


Now I get to do the fun bits!


The Process. And Also a Corgi.


She kept planting her furry little butt on my skirt. We drew lines of compromise here.


She sure makes me more cheerful when I inevitably fuck up a simple seam, though. Lookatthatface!


The desert at 90mph.


This part of the lawn is VERY IMPORTANT.


Sometimes, I'm tempted to put fake eyelashes on my wighead.


The 300" skirt and the front tapestry panel.


There’s a story behind that tapestry–
Friend Amanda, who is making my bodice
(and regularly whips out costumes for dozens of folks
every year at Faire, ‘coz she’s a genius),
came over to my place last weekend for a shopping trip in the fabric district.

It was amazing to go down there with another veteran–
the districts in LA–fabric, fashion, jewelry, furniture, toys, floral–can be seriously intimidating if you don’t go there often.
It’s crowded, kinda dusty,
parking is a pain in the ass,
and there are so. many. things. whipping past your vision,
it’s easy to get headachey and grumpled.

We both had this moment, about ninety minutes into our trip,
where we were checking to see if the other person was okay,
because that’s uuuuusually the limit we have when we go with other folks,
and we both had to laugh, we were so fine with trucking on
for another three hours.

Plus, girl has a seriously good eye for fabrics.

This tapestry was a simultaneous spotting at Levine’s upholstery shop;
we gasped, I squeaked,
“Oh my God, can I use that?!?!”
Amanda looked at the price, and said,
“No. No, you can’t.”

…It was $24 per yard.

I normally never pay more than $5 per yard when I’m in the fabric district.

There was a great deal of hemming and hawing,
I got a swatch and carried it around for the rest of the afternoon,
and finally just had to come back and get it,
because it was SO PERFECT.

And I only needed one yard.


It’s totally justifiable.


And Amanda said I could! 😀


Here’s a brief glimpse of my finished top skirt–
I also finished the bottom last night.


It's this amazing tweedy mustard color--It feels like I pulled it out of a Vermeer painting.


There will be more photos–
still have to attach my waistband,
hem the panel,
attach the panel to my hoop
(oh yes, I am wearing a hoop LIKE A BOSS),
and then the fun begins with chopine construction!

It’s going to be a busy month,
but my brain and heart feel so much better
for having something creative to hold.


Last Week’s Workout and:


Totally lost the teeny blue Post-it that had this one
(and yes, I write out all our CF workouts on blue Post-its.
Do not question the blue Post-it!!!):


Run 100m
10 burpees
10 pushups
10 mountain climbers (each leg)
10 v-ups
10 squats

Finished with pull-ups (still struggling with the fourth pull-up, ARGH).


I’m in the middle of creating my costume for Faire this year–
it’s a lot more complicated than my original costume,
by far and away–
my original costume is suitable for peasant class,
or for lower merchant class.

The bodice is simple, front-lacing,
the chemise and partlet are not starched or overly frilled,
and I have two skirts in a five-gore pattern with a standard waistband.
I wear a pair of Birkenstock mules in a light suede with this outfit,
and they work swimmingly.


See? Tres simple. And yes, it looks like I don't have feet.


This year,
I’m working with a FAHbulous group of folks
who dress as wanna-be aristocratic Frenchies,
and go around mocking people in zer Frahnch Accsahnts.

my outfit needs a leetle more *oomph*,
and a leetle more fashionyfashion.

So I’m making things.

Like chopines.




This wonderful lady has given me brilliant ideas
on constructing said chopines,
and I ordered two sets of yoga blocks today.

I’m actually stupid excited to start creating those,
and I think I’ll be able to make something ridiculous and awesome.


I also ordered a wig:

I love the Renaissance.


I’m a tad anxious about that wig,
since I couldn’t find out what type of fiber was used for it,
and wigs, generally, are not returnable items.

I’m pretty damn good at making cheap shit look great,
so I’m trusting in my gerry-rigging skills if the wig is more *meh* than *OMG*.


I am *also* making a headpiece,
which will (hopefully) look something like hers:


My current plan is to draft the pattern on paper,
trace it onto balsa wood,
cut the pieces out, attach them together with…brads?

Paint with something pearlescent-y?

Something pretty, at any rate,
then attach it to the wig with combs and pins.


I have a little more than a month before Faire opens.

I can totally get all this done.



Renaissance vs. Medieval: One of these things is not like the other…



Consider me your friendly tour guide for this wandering about in history business.

First off,
let us consider dates.

The Renaissance period lasted from the very tail end of the 15th century
(starting, really, with Gutenberg’s printing press in 1452),
and ending just before the 17th.

The Medieval period is considerably longer,
lasting from the 5th century to the 15th.
This time is also called “The Middle Ages”.

remembering dates is a pain in the ass,
so allow me to give a visual representation:



Two-Dimensional. Predominantly religious subject matter. Loose clothes.



Three-Dimensional. Secular subject. Fitted bodice.


Or look at it another way:
Is your art predominantly two-dimensional, simplistic,
and usually focused on religious subjects?

Monks doing monkish things.



You’re in the Middle Ages!

Are your clothes fairly shapeless, with perhaps an outer tunic for style?


Kinda jealous--these look waaay more comfortable than jeans.

Also Middle Ages!

Who’s ruling your country?
If the answer is, “Why, Queen Elizabeth I!”
Guess what?
You’re in the Renaissance!


Ah, Elizabeth I, CEO...

(she shaved her hairline to get that whole billiard-ball-forehead thing. crazy, nu?)


Are you wearing a device that pushes your boobs up around your eyeballs?


Yes. I used myself as an example. Annnnd?
(I look sad because I don't have beer. shutup.)


Perhaps it’s not *totally* accurate (historical costumers fight…GO!),
but still Renaissance!

(Very well…See below for a period sketch of a noble/upperclass woman in a
similarly boobifying contraption)

Notice the conical shape? That's pure Elizabethean, right there.


Are you a Crusader?



Is Shakespeare alive?



Are you quoting Lewis Carroll and wandering about in brass goggles?



Can’t help you there, mate.

But you look cool.



Seriously, right? The top hat kinda makes me swoon.

photo credit


(ladies in “princess” hats sprouting bits of tulle? just…no.)