Thoughts While Deep-Cleaning a Stove:

 

Ask a Clean Person made me do it.

Is…is that stove snot?

What is in a Magic Eraser?
Unicorn pee?
Fairy dust?
Neurotoxins?

WHO CARES.

Ew.

 

My predominant memories of my mother involve cleaning.
I’m pretty sure that, at this point, dirt simply can’t be bothered to waste its time existing at her house–she’ll kick it out within seconds of being, anyway.

My mother actually subjects herself to this shit on a regular basis.
Gleefully.

No wonder the woman’s fingernails are brittle and frail.

 

Ew.

Why…is…this…not…scrubbing…OFF?!?!??!!

Guess the OCD didn’t *really* taper off when it hit me, after all.

 

Annnnnnd I forgot the landlord needed to turn off our water today.

 

Balls.

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