Allow Me to Clarify:

 

(A preamble to my preamble:
I’ve had a lot of fitness blog visitors (hey, there!) recently,
and I noticed that several of them tend to slide into the guilt/shame/smug trifecta
that is unfortunately common in our current culture.
This is a clarification of why I do what I do.)

 

I do not work out because I want a perfect body.
Ain’t no such thing.
I do not work out because I feel guilty about eating a piece of candy.
I do not berate myself for eating bread.
Bread is delicious, motherfucker.

Or it is a delicious motherfucker.

Take your pick.
 

I do not and will not restrict my eating for anything other than an allergy.
I will not call foods “bad” or call my behavior “bad” if I choose to eat a piece of pie.
It is a choice, and that is all.

I do not make “guilt-free” foods.

I do not go on juice fasts to “detox” my body–what the holy hell is that,
I can’t even.

Demonizing entire food groups is foolish and unbalanced,
and if you’re wondering why so many women have eating disorders,
in large part, it’s because we are shamed about *everything* we put in our mouths.
(Even salad! “Oh. Salad. You know, that type of lettuce has like, no macronutrients.”)

I will not take part in this.

I do not and will not weigh-in.
(Seriously. You don’t want to get me started.)

I do not work out because I need to fit into my wedding dress.
My wedding dress will fit *me*, not the other way around.

I do not work out because I’m a bad person if I don’t.

I do not work out because my body fat percentage isn’t where it “should” be.

I do not run on a daily basis because I hate running.
It makes me miserable.
My cardiovascular fitness will benefit just as much from sprints and walking.

I do not work out because it’s the thing to do.

 

I work out because it makes me strong.
I work out because it lifts my mood.
I work out because I get to spend time with my chosen family.
I work out because I’m doing the Zombie 5K in a couple of weeks.
I work out because growing stronger keeps my eating disorder at bay.
I work out because I have a desk job, and purely sedentary living hurts my body.
I work out because I can change water jugs at the office.
I work out because functional fitness is awesome.
I work out because it is satisfying to pound out a set of burpees.
I work out because I refuse to give in to fragility.
I work out because it makes me better at my crazy circus classes.

I work out because I enjoy it.

 

Guilt only creates resentment.
Delight will last for a lifetime.
We need to delight in our bodies and their abilities.
No more shaming.
Not yourself.
Not someone else.
Our bodies are incredible.
Now go celebrate that shit, however you like best.

Yesternight’s Workout:

 

x5

10 jump squats
1min reverse plank
100m sprint
30 sec L-hang
20 mountain climbers
1min plank

 

Oooo, wobbly.
We are soooo wobbly today.
I like this combination of fast and slow–
it’s tricksy, Baggins.

Yesternight’s and Last Week’s Workouts:

 

x5
10 tuck jumps
10 spiderman pushups
10 L-lifts (hanging from monkey bars, lift legs to 90 degree angle)
20 jumping jacks

 

x3

15 squats
15 pushups
15 tuck jumps
15 V-ups/tuck ups (alternating)

 

Tonight I will be taking a certain mopey corgi
for a very, very long walk–
she’s been with me for the last two days,
and can’t understand why I’m not playing with her
instead of staring at my boring computer,
trying to whack out a shiny new resume.

Poor corgwyn.
She neither toils not nor does she spin.

Unless there are treats.
Then she totally spins.

Yesternight’s Workout:

 

Got my ass handed to me by my Flexibility and Stretch class
(don’t let the gentle name fool you!),
but in part because we did this on Tuesday:

x4

100m Sprint
10 20# KB Swings
100m Sprint
12 Head-touch Pushups
20 Jumping Lunges
10 V-Ups

 

My ass.
Is so sore.

Yesternight’s Workout:

 

I am crutch-free! WHEEE!!!

x5

Plank Wheelbarrows, forward/back
10 head-ups
10 halos (each direction)
25 squat passes w/ KB (20#)
15 sec. L-hang
6 KB snatches (each arm)

 

Pretty durn good!

I’m not allowed to run, jump, or lunge for another month or so
(TEARS)
but that won’t slow me down *too* much.

I wonder how I could adapt burpees…

Yesternight’s Workout:

 

Just Boyo and me:

x4

10 seated straddle leg-lifts
10 head-touch pushups (absurdly difficult!)
200m run
30 squats with 20# KB, passed back and forth
30 sec. L-hold from bar
30 sec. star hold L/R, plank, reverse plank

 

Poor Boyo.
He had the distinct disadvantage of coming to workout with me
after I was yelled at by a co-worker.
I kinda take those things out through exercise,
so this was a brutal workout.

He might hate me forever for those straddle-lifts.

 

ps (Straddle lifts: “Sit in a straddle position, then lean forward slightly and place your hands on the floor. Lift your legs up and back as far as possible. The farther forward your hands are placed, the more difficult the exercise will be.”)

Yesternight’s Workout:

 

x5

10 knees to elbows
10 butt swishes, each leg
10 KB Thrusts, rotated with planks
(I also did handstands)
10 spiderman pushups

(Titus and Staci joined us tonight! Fresh meat! Fresh meat!)

(I finished with five pullups and a 35 second handstand.)

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